Diet, Vacation, Holidays…meh

The last few weeks have been rough. Since losing my father everything I do takes on new meaning. I turned to my spouse at one point and said, “Just a head’s up, I feel like I’m probably going to have a couple of rough days this holiday season.” This is the first holiday with both parents gone…and while I’ve done pretty good for the most part, it has been rough at times, but mostly I’m just ‘meh’.

I’ve not really advanced on my diet. I’ve stayed on track and not gained, but there’s definitely been times of indulgence. I feel like it could have been worse…we spent the week of Thanksgiving on a cruise in the Caribbean. I did work-out on the boat a few times and tried to offset the sweets, but you’ve also got to enjoy your vacation right?

I’ve also probably done some emotional eating at times. I’ve admitted to myself that I’ve been an emotional eater throughout my life and that realization has helped me a lot to recognize it and avoid it, but it still happens at times. I feel like with everything I’ve dealt with in 2018 that perhaps I can have a couple of ‘passes’. Not to mention these last few weeks I’ve been hurt by some people, a neighbor’s tree fell in our yard, and I’m still figuring out my next career move.

In the midst of all this I’ve really tried to celebrate the holiday and focus on the ‘true meaning of Christmas’ as much as possible. We’ve been to Christmas concerts & musicals, put up our trees & decorations, hosted a holiday cocktail party, went to a neighborhood tree lighting, and this weekend we’re headed to DC and will soak up all the Christmas spirit we can. 

As we approach these last few days of Christmas I am ‘meh’, but I’m also just extremely reflective. My mantra on this website is ‘Get Focused & Stay Motivated’ because I’ve learned over the years (perhaps from the emotional eating) that a huge part of any diet or fitness plan is being in the right mental space. And I am trying so hard right now to get in the right mental space, to get focused, and to stay motivated…not only on my fitness, but so I can genuinely experience and be touched by the joy of Christmas.

I want that.

I need that.

Someone in my church community recently asked the question, “What’s saving you right now?”. I wrote it down. I wanted to be sure to be able to come back to it. It really made me think, but I’m still not sure I have the answer yet. It might be my spouse. This year has made us both stronger, but through everything he’s been a rock of support that makes me feel like the luckiest person alive. It might be my parents. Funny enough, reflecting on their lives has made me see strengths and support from them that I didn’t recognize so easily before. It might just be this hope to be touched by Christmas…or maybe just ‘hope’ itself…maybe for brighter days that are coming after this season of death I’ve been in.

I am ‘meh’, but I’m also optimistic that this will pass. And I’m extremely hopeful…hopeful for a fresh perspective and a new me…fit and living the life I’m intended to live to the fullest. 

Get Focused.

Stay Motivated.

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focus friday: try arm’s length for balance

Life gets blurry. I’ve learned that it’s just inevitable. As much as we try, we can’t avoid it. That’s why I’m constantly reminding myself to ‘get focused’.

Recently though, I’ve been thinking about things that make life blurry and evaluating things in my life that maybe are taking too much of my time. I’ve been recognizing things that require more of my attention than they’re worth…that is, things where I’m putting in way more than I’m getting back in return. These things are making my life blurry.

Our priorities in life should be on things that are adding to us…encouraging, strengthening, building up. They should at the very least leave us as we started and definitely shouldn’t have you feeling exhausted. For example, a job shouldn’t require so much of you mentally that when you get home, you either keep working or you are so distracted by it that you can’t focus on anything else. I totally get it, everyone is going to have those crappy days where all you can do is come home and sit in front of the TV for a while to decompress. But how often does it happen? Are you getting enough in return that it’s worth it or is it really just adding stress? Only you can really define ‘the line’ and answer that for yourself. Even if it’s a great job, you’ll never be able to focus on YOU and reach the goals you have for yourself if your mind is always preoccupied.

Work, church, friendships, social outings, volunteer activities…the list goes on. We can do and be involved with a lot of really great people and things, but at the end of the day, how do they leave you? Are you putting in more than you’re getting back?

I’ve come to realize that there are some friendships that I need to back off on. I’ve put way more into them than I get in return and it’s become exhausting. I’ve realized that I have friendships where I’m not nearly as much of a priority to them as they are to me. I’m evaluating…and maybe I start to move some of these to arm’s length. That will free me up some mentally to be more focused on myself or to make room to invest in other friendships or new friendships where #1, I feel like as much a priority to them as they are to me and #2, they actually leave me feeling encouraged and loved.

Life gets blurry. It’s going to happen, I understand that, but how many things or people are we involved with that are contributing to that? To have balance in life priority #1 must be yourself.

Get focused. Stay motivated.

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monday motivation

A very dear friend shared this with me a few months back and it’s stayed in my regular rotation of encouraging songs.

“Maybe it’s time you bet on yourself.” That line hits me every time! Let’s do this!! 🤗

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Update: Priorities

My father passed away a month ago and these past 4 weeks have been a blur. So much has happened and it’s gone by so fast. We’ve been working to get ourselves back to a ‘new normal’, but what does that even mean. We’ve been straightening the house, getting back into social outings, trying to be fit, and I’m figuring out what kind of work I need to do.

The 5 months he lived with us were special, but difficult. We tried to look at that time as time we’d never get back. We’d regularly remind ourselves of this when things were especially hard and it helped us to stay focused on what the priorities were.

As I’m writing this I’m wondering if we should take the same approach to our health and fitness. It has dawned on me that this day is time I’ll never get back. This week, this month…as they say in RENT, ‘no day but today’.

So today I’m motivated, in a different & bittersweet kind of way, to keep my priorities straight. We won’t get this time back.

Get focused.

Stay motivated.

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