My father passed away a month ago and these past 4 weeks have been a blur. So much has happened and it’s gone by so fast. We’ve been working to get ourselves back to a ‘new normal’, but what does that even mean. We’ve been straightening the house, getting back into social outings, trying to be fit, and I’m figuring out what kind of work I need to do.

The 5 months he lived with us were special, but difficult. We tried to look at that time as time we’d never get back. We’d regularly remind ourselves of this when things were especially hard and it helped us to stay focused on what the priorities were.

As I’m writing this I’m wondering if we should take the same approach to our health and fitness. It has dawned on me that this day is time I’ll never get back. This week, this month…as they say in RENT, ‘no day but today’.

So today I’m motivated, in a different & bittersweet kind of way, to keep my priorities straight. We won’t get this time back.

Get focused.

Stay motivated.

My ‘new normal’ got in my way again…and this time it doubled down!

I’ve been trying to develop eating habits and exercise habits that last, habits that become so much a part of my lifestyle that it’s second nature. (If it’s second nature for you, I hate you ha ha…but I envy you too.) In the past I’ve had some luck losing weight with various eating plans…Atkins, Lean Cuisine, Whole 30, I’ve done them all…and I’ve had luck with various exercise plans, multiple gym memberships, and even hired trainers. All of these worked for a while, but for me they didn’t instill daily habits that became a permanent part of my lifestyle, no matter what was going on in life.

I’ve gotten off track many times because of some kind of life event…we moved, I got a different job within my company or changed companies, we took a major vacation, etc. One of the things I’ve learned over these past 30 years of dieting & exercise is that I need constant focus and motivation to stay on track and if there’s a blip in life that distracts my focus, so goes the diet and exercise.

This year has been all about developing those lasting habits with practices that will keep me focused and motivated. I was doing pretty well this year…eating right, exercising, losing some weight, working on this blog. Then life struck again and I had a ‘new normal’ to deal with. I was handling it pretty well when two weeks later life happened again and the ‘new normal’ became new yet again.

But first, a little about the photo. Throughout 2017 the message of authenticity kept showing itself to me. It seemed like no matter where I was or what I was doing, I would see a message of someone being their authentic self…’living their truth’…and it was stirring a passion in me to examine myself and start taking steps to make changes. I was meditating a lot on life, career, what my priorities should be, and what I was really passionate about. Then 2018 came around and the message morphed. I began to see the message of ‘vulnerability’ repeatedly. From reading, friends, movies, music, church…you name it, it was there. One of the things I learned is that if you are going to be authentic you’ve got to be vulnerable. Wow. This hit me big time. And the universe keeps dropping this message in my path, sometimes literally haha, where I took the photo yesterday while I was out on my walk.

So all this year I’m trying to be my authentic self, live my truth, be vulnerable, and get fit…and life hits me with new normals. At the end of March I was laid off from my corporate job. While I was rolling with that punch pretty well two weeks later it became necessary for us to move my father in with us because Hospice decided he should no longer live alone. Now, I firmly believe some things happen for a reason and are meant to be. After going through the process of packing my father out of his home and getting him unpacked & settled into one bedroom in our house, I can say there is no way I could have done that with a full-time job. I actually had not been happy in my corporate job for a long time so I was at peace about moving on, but man the timing was perfect. However, everything else I was doing personally…exercise, blog, etc…fell off track.

So here I am, getting back on track, getting back to work on this blog, and trying to be a little more vulnerable each day. I’ve not lost any weight in the last 2 months, but I didn’t gain any either, so that’s good. I’ve been trying to get focused and start moving the needle again. Of course at some point I have to start thinking about making money again, but funny as it may sound, I’m not making that a priority at the moment.

As of this writing the blog is still not public. This is a big vulnerability hump that I’m working on and looking for the right timing. Also, I’ve started studying for a personal trainer certification. I figured the knowledge would help to keep me focused and can only help me be a healthier me. Afterwards, we’ll see where it leads. I’ve not really talked about this either because it’a also a big vulnerability hump.

I’m working on the humps, I’m spending time with my father, I’m studying and learning about training, but most of all I’m trying to get focused and stay motivated. I sincerely appreciate your help 🙂